Episode 816: The One Where Joey Tells Rachel

"Okay, so first scene, Joey and Ross are talking at the tall table at Central Perk and Joey tells Ross about this girl 'at work' that he really likes, but he has a great friend 'at work' that he cares about and he went out with this girl for a couple years and he doesn't want to ruin their friendship. Then Ross says something about Joey doesn't even like the guys from his work and Joey says "that's what I just tell Chandler so I won't make him feel bad. I'm his only friend." and Ross goes "Joey!" and Joey goes, "oh, sorry man, I'm YOUR only friend too!" And then they talk about the scenario for a couple more seconds and Ross says he has to go and he's walking out the door when Joey goes, "It's rachel" really matter of factly and Ross stops dead in his tracks. He turns around really slowly and he can't believe it. He does a half mental Geller thing and goes "Rachel?" "RACHEL!!" You know what I'm talking about. And he storms out, leaving Joey thinking Ross hates him.
Next scene is at Central Perk with Chandler and Rachel and Rachel goes "oh! the baby kicked!" and Chandler puts his hand on her stomach and laughs and goes "he's growing inside of you" in his funny immature way. Then Phoebe comes in and asks them if they believe in soulmates and Rachel goes, "yes, I do, but I belive the way to find him is to stop looking, which is why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe years ago. He'll find me." and chandler says he doesn't believe in soulmates. And Phoebe goes "good!" and he goes "why?" and she goes "because I found Monica's tonight." And she goes on about how the guy she's going out with is Monica's soulmate. He's British, he's into food, blah blah blah... and Chandler quickly becomes jealous and does his TOW the hundredth deal thing but we're not there yet.
Then I think the next scene (I don't remember the orer, I just remember what happens.) Is in Ross' appartment and Ross is sitting down on the couch and Monica knocks on the door and comes in and says "I'm really sorry. I know how hard this must be for you." and she tells him to talk to Joey because Joey thinks he hates him and doesn't want to be friends with him anymore. Then Ross says (I don't know if they'll cut this part out because they only did it for the 3rd take of this scene) something like if there was a Joey and rachel there would never be a Ross and rachel and didn't want to take that chance. And Monica mentions how Joey was going to supposedly move to Vermont because he said he wanted to move out of the country (lmao!) and how he was going to the bank to get Vermont dollars, but don't worry that's not gonna happen. << OLE Object: Picture (Metafile) >>
Then Ross talks to Joey, and they're really awkward about it, but they make up and talk about it. And Joey says somethign about Rachel and subtly mentions he's in love with her, and Ross thinks about what Joey just said and looks really shocked. "You're in love with her?" and everyone in the audience is gasping right now inculding me. The woman behind me went "uh oh." And Joey says, "well yea, I thought you knew." and ross is like, "no." and he really tries to understand this. Then they take out Rachel's melon weird health drink and drink it, and Joey hates it. He makes a really cute cringy face, and Ross makes a fake one to go a long with it but when he turns his head you can automatically tell that he loves it lol. And Ross tells Joey that he should tell Rachel, and that he can't keep it from her forever. And Joey asks Ross what he should say, and ross goes "okay I'm understanding, but let's not push it."
Then they go back to the soulmate fill-in, and Monica meets the British guy. They get along really well, surprise surprise! They talk about food and stuff, and the guy says "I relaly like Alejandros" and she goes "That's my restaurant" so Chandler automatically gets really jealous and weird about it, it's funny though. Then he talks to Phoebe on the side of the couch and goes "can you believe this?" and phoebe goes "I'm really sorry, but I thought you didn't believe in soulmates" and chandler goes "I believe in handsome men hitting on my wife!"
The next scene is Joey going down the hall to Ross an d Rchel's apartment (they live together now), and she's rushing out the door to go to work so he can't tell her now, so he invites her to dinner, then hes backing up against the wall thinking of what he'll say and a neighbor comes out his door and surprises Joey and Joey goes "don't you people ever knock!?!?!?!"
Monica and the British guy are getting along, talking about food and Chandler decides he wants to make the guy feel bad, so he goes "working with cheese huh?" to the guy. "The cheese is smelly. You must be smelly too." and Monica goes "I actually love smelly cheese" and the guy agrees. "Chandler won't even let me bring bleu cheese into the apartment, he hates it!" and they laugh. Chandler tries jokes to make the guy feel bad like the Golf War nurse in the hundredth episode, but all of them fail. Then mon and the guy get up to get a LATTE and chandler goes "I'll have a cappucino" and they laugh at him!
Chandler and Monica's apartment, Chandler is acting weird, and Monic'as like, "JEEZ, what's with you, you've been acting strange all day" and he goes "excuse me, did you just say CHEESE?" but then he explains about the soulmate thing, and she says "I don't believe in soulmates either." and he goes "you don't?" and she goes "no, I don't believe you and I were meant for each other. I believe that we fell in love and we work at our relationship. Sometimes very hard." and they hug and make up.
Last scene, Joey and Rachel at the restaurant, they make friendly chat for a little bit about Chandler, Joey's shirt, how he's hot in there, blah blah blah I don't wanna tell you the jokes cuz they won't be funny when you hear them. Then Joey says "I think I'm falling in love with you." and she looks utterly shocked. She looks behind her and goes "who are you talking to?" and he nods like he knows she knows he's talking about her, and she laughs a forced laugh. "Ha! IT's a joke! It's funny! I don't get it." and Joey shakes his head and looks at her thoughtfully and seriously and really afraid of what she's gonna say. She's really speechless by now and a realy awkward moment goes by. Then rachel says "oh Joey, I love you so much, but..." an dJoey goes "there's a but..." and looks really disappointed. and Rachel goes "oh no Joey..." and he interrupts and goes "its okay, this is exactly what I was expecting. I think I'll leave now." and he gets up to leave and Rachel goes "oh no Joey don't do this to a pregnant woman" and starts to cry while she's saying it, and at that moment you feel so bad for her and even worse for Joey! and Joey stops and goes "oh no don't do that to me, now you're gonna make me cry" and he starts crying and sits next to her and they hug but it's too painful for Joey to touch her so he holds on to her chair, and they're both crying and hugging and crying some more. this is much like Ross and Rachel's moment in TOW the morning after. Oh I forgot to mention they had a really funny waitor much like Jack in Will & Grace. He kept distracting them at the beginning, luckily before Joey told Rachel. Fade out.
Tag scene- their waitor is talking to another waitor saying"my table is taking so long! they've been hugging for like an hour! I bet one of them's dying. I hope it's the girl. the guy is really cute!"