Episode 802: The One With The Red Sweater

The episode opens in the hotel lobby, the morning after the wedding. Rachel and Phoebe are at the front desk looking at their bill. One of them, I can’t remember which one, notices a charge for candy and a porno (can’t remember the name, but very funny). One of them says, Was Joey in our room? Then Joey walks up, they ask if he was in their room, he denies it, Phoebe shows him the bill and he says to the front desk guy, You said the name of the movie wouldn’t appear on the bill! That’s not the exact line, but it was great. Then Chandler and Monica walk to the front desk. Mon's whining to the clerk about how she's no longer a bride, she's just someone's wife. Chandler has this great line that's something like, And I'm the happiest man in the world. He said it pretty funny. Then Mon walks away all depressed and sits on a couch, Chandler kneels in front of her and tries to tell her that they still have a lot to look forward to, like the honeymoon and the wedding photos. She’s unimpressed, because all that will take too long. He volunteers to get the film from the disposable cameras developed that day. She likes this idea. Chandler kisses her and tells her he'll take care of it. The first time they did this scene he screwed up the line about the disposable cameras. The scene ends with Chan leaving to get the cameras and Mon looking at her bill. She sees a porno on her bill (the same one on Phoebe’s and Rach’s), and says something like, I can’t believe he watched porn on our wedding night! And Joey says something like, Yea, that’s terrible. Then he offers her some candy, the same kind from the bill. I can’t remember what kind of candy it was, but it kept coming up throughout the episode. It was so funny. MLB kept messing up that last line.

The next scene is Chandler in Ross's hotel room. Ross it turns out is really cheap and insists on staying in his room until the last minute before checkout, and he's also stuffing his suitcase full of the hotel freebies. Chandler teases him about this, and then asks where Ross put the disposable cameras. Ross says What disposable cameras. There's this funny exchange between them that I'm not even going to try to describe, but basically it turns out that the disposable cameras are missing.

The next scene starts with Mon in C&M’s apartment. All of the wedding presents are piled on the living room table and she’s got a little one in her lap. Phoebe walks in and Mon says something about how badly she wants to open them up, and how it can’t hurt to open just one. She opens the little one and it’s a tiny salt shaker – Phoebe says, A little salt shaker for little salt!, really really funny -- and she and Phoebe decide it wouldn’t hurt to open one more, like it’s companion pepper shaker, then Mon picks up a huge present and says, Maybe it’s this one! And she starts ripping. That’s when Rach walks in. Mon asks if she has morning sickness. I don’t remember how they get to this, but somehow Phoebe mentions how Chandler thinks she’s pregnant and it’s kind of upsetting that he hasn’t asked how she’s feeling or helped carry her bags. Then she says, I feel sorry for the woman who ends up with him! Mon glares at her, and Phoebe adds, I mean after you! Very funny. So that’s when Rachel says she's going to tell the dad in a few hours, and Phoebe goes on and on about what a huge deal it'll be for the father, how it'll change his life forever, and Rach kind of freaks out. Then Joey walks in. Rach asks him how he would feel if a woman called him up and said she was pregnant with his kid. This scene was hilarious. Joey freaks out, says something like: "Who called here? Did she sound blonde? I KNEW I shouldn't have gone to that Sunglasses Hut!" That isn't the exact line, but it was something like that and totally funny. Anyway, after his outburst Rachel says something like, No, it's not about you, you're not having a baby. He says okay, then why are you asking, Rach and Mon look at Phoebe and Phoebe tells him she's the one who's pregnant. Joey walks over to her and gives her a big hug of congratulations. She says thanks, then, this is so funny, she slowly lowers herself back into the seat, as if she's really pregnant, like nine months along or something. So Joey asks who the father is, Phoebe says no one he knows, and it doesn't matter because he doesn't want anything to do with her or the baby anyway. Joey gets really mad about this and demands she tell him who the father is so he can beat the guy up. Phoebe says, David Lynn (I think that's the name), Joey repeats the name and storms out. When he's gone, Rachel or Mon asks who David Lynn is, and Phoebe says something like, Oh, some guy from the gym, he's a little annoying. Really funny.

I think the next scene is Phoebe and Rachel at Central Perk. Rach is on the couch when Phoebe walks in and asks if she’s there to meet the father. She says, Oh, is it Gunther? And Rach says no. And Phoebe says something like, Thank God, because that hair would be terrible on a baby. The first time they did this scene the line was something like, Thank God, because Gunther is pure evil. The second line was much funnier. Rach then tells Phoebe that she’s freaked out now about telling the father. Phoebe says she should just do it quick, like ripping a band-aid off, and proves it to her by ripping a band-aid off her arm. She then starts crying from the pain. Pretty funny.

I think the next scene was one of the ones with Ross and Chandler that they had filmed the day before. It starts with Chandler poking his head out from under a table in the reception hall, where he’s been looking for the cameras. He can't find them anywhere. Then Ross gets this crazy idea that they should put their tuxes back on and crash another wedding reception taking place that day and just take a bunch of blurry photos of people at that reception and tell Mon they're from her wedding. Chandler agrees.

Then we’re back at C&M’s. Mon’s still ripping through the presents. She’s in the corner now, near Rachel’s old bedroom. Joey walks in first and they have a short exchange about her gift-opening compulsion, and then Phoebe walks in. This is the adorable proposal scene. Joey gives some cute little speech about how hard it is to be a single mom in this cruel world, then he gets down on one knee and proposes to her. It was so funny because the first time he did this, MLB couldn't get the ring out of his pocket, so he swore and then turned to the audience and said, "Okay, pretend like you didn't just see all that." We were all laughing so hard. Anyway, it was so cute because Phoebe said yes, of course she'd marry him, then Mon jumps up and tells Joey it's Rachel, not Phoebe who's pregnant, and Phoebe gets all angry. Monica says, Well he would have found out the truth in nine months when you didn't have a baby. Phoebe says, Are you sure? It's Joey. That was so funny. Joey looks kind of confused and hurt at her, Phoebe mouths, I love you, he smiles all sweet at her (one of the times they filmed this, MLB started cracking up here), then he looks suddenly back at Monica, because of course he's shocked about Rachel being pregnant. That's when he remembers about the red sweater, so he runs to his place to get it and they all meet up in the hallway. He tells the girls that all he knows is that some guy spent the night with Rachel about a month ago and left this sweater behind. Phoebe then recognizes who the sweater belongs to, although she doesn’t tell them.

The next scene is Rach and Phoebe standing outside Central Perk. Phoebe tells Rachel she knows who the father is, takes the red sweater out of a bag, and Rachel kind of gasps, because she knows where it's from and she knows it belongs to the father. Phoebe tells Rachel that she called the father, the owner of the red sweater, and he's inside there, so she can tell him now if she's ready. Rachel decides she's ready, and they walk into Central Perk.

I think they went back to one of the prefilmed scenes with Chandler and Ross next. They’re basically taking random photos of themselves. At one point Ross gets up on the stage and pretends to make his best man speech so Chandler can get a picture, and everyone at the reception gets quiet because they expect him to make a speech. He just says someone’s car is being towed. It’s longer than that and pretty funny, but I can’t remember the details.

Meanwhile, they set up for the big secret scene, putting the walls in front of the Central Perk set and lowering the curtain in front of the entire stage. They really built up the tension here. When they finally started the scene, Rachel and Phoebe walk in and there's Tag at one of the tables behind the couch. The audience was shocked. I don't remember exactly how this goes, but I think Phoebe holds up the sweater and says something like, Is this yours? And Tag says no, because he's wearing his own red sweater right now. That's when everyone cheered, because the father obviously can't be Tag. Phoebe looks all embarrassed and goes away. She has some funny line that’s like, Can I get anyone coffee, or poison? Okay, just for me then. When she’s gone, Rachel says something about how Tag always did wear that sweater a lot. Then Tag invites her to sit down. He takes her hand and goes on about how they should get back together, how they were really good and the age thing shouldn't matter and he wants all the same things she does. Rachel tells him she's pregnant, he drops her hand (this was pretty funny), and then there's this awkward silence for several seconds. Rach says, You can go now. Tag says thanks and then literally runs out of the coffeehouse. That was hilarious!

I think then we have the last prefilmed Ross and Chandler scene. Ross says something like, You sure you want to do this? And Chandler says like, Just get ready to run. He walks up to the bride, who looks like Mon, similar dress and long dark hair, grabs her and kisses her. Ross takes a picture and they both run. Very funny.

Then we’re back at C&M’s. Mon, Phoebe and Joey are there when Rachel walks in. Joey tells Rachel that he knows about the baby and hugs her. It was funny, because when they were done hugging Rachel says, Aw, and you didn't even try to undo my bra! Then she sits down at the kitchen table, Joey takes her hand, and he gives her the same speech he gave Phoebe, about being a single mom, ending with getting down on one knee and proposing. Phoebe gets all angry. Joey asks for the ring back, so he can give it to Rachel, and Phoebe refuses. It was so cute! Anyway, after Joey proposes and Phoebe freaks out, Rachel says it's very sweet of Joey to have proposed, but she doesn't want to marry him. I think she says something about how she's not looking for a husband at all, like she's not worried about that. So she stands up and they hug again, and this time Joey undoes her bra. Very funny. Then Rachel leaves. A moment later, Chandler and Ross walk in. Chandler's got a bunch of photos in hand. Mon sees him and whisks him into the kitchen so he won't look into the living room and see all the presents unwrapped. He points out that he's got the pictures developed and they look through them. They get to the one of his kissing the other woman, and he says something like, Look, honey, our first kiss as husband and wife. I think this line changed every time they did it. Anyway, when Mon sees that photo she's like, Oh, how sweet, especially because I found these in my suitcase, and she holds up a bag full of disposable cameras. So she knows these photos are all fake. Chandler rips up the picture of him and the other woman kissing and picks up the cameras, which he says he'll develop immediately. He looks really guilty. Of course, as he turns to leave he sees all the gifts are unwrapped. The next few lines are cute: Chan: You unwrapped all the presents? We were supposed do that together! Mon: You kissed another woman?! Chan: Call it even? Mon: OK! Then they high-five and Chandler walks out with the cameras. Right after Chandler leaves, everyone notices that Ross is carrying a big bouquet of flowers. I forget how it all unfolds, but it ends with him having stolen the flowers from the hotel lobby (because he’s so cheap, remember?!). Then Ross turns to leave, and on the way out he sees the red sweater. He says something like, Hey there’s my sweater. The audience freaked out. We must have been cheering and clapping for a full minute. The first time they did this scene we completely missed Ross’s next line, about how he hadn’t seen the sweater for a month. It was incredible!!! After Ross leaves, Mon and Phoebe say, Oh my God! at the same time. Joey just looks around kind of confused, then gives his typical Joey-makes-a-realization look, and he also says Oh my God!

The last scene has Ross walking outside, wearing the red sweater. He runs into Tag, who’s also wearing his red sweater. Tag says something like, Hey nice sweater. Ross says something like, Right back at you. Then Tag says, So that’s pretty crazy about Rachel. And Ross says, Oh yeah, Rachel, she’s a crazy lady. And Tag says, Do you know who’s it is? And Ross looks confused and says, I don’t know, maybe the name’s on the tag. He tries to look at the label on his sweater, then laughs and says something like, Look at your own tag if you want to know! Then Ross walks off muttering something like, What a weirdo. The first time they did this scene it was much shorter, like only two lines, and not funny at all. You could tell they went back and basically rewrote it.

The clothing run-down: Chandler was wearing a blue button down shirt over a white T-shirt with khakis; Mon was wearing a white blouse with cream or white pants, her hair was down, but it looks a little better than last season, more layered or something; Joey was wearing I think a white button down shirt and dark pants/jeans; Ross was wearing a pink and white checkered shirt and jeans; Rachel was wearing a long red skirt and a dark blue short-sleeved shirt, her hair was just below the shoulders but otherwise looked similar to last season; Phoebe was wearing like a purple/blue floral skirt and shirt combo, her hair was a little longer than last season and she has bangs now. All the guys' hair looked the same.

No one interesting was on the set.

They didn't say when Rachel will start showing.

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I think JA was the only one of them to not mess up any lines. LK screwed up several times, and everyone else messed up once or twice, but JA was right on the whole time.

She seemed to get on well with MLB in between scenes. When they were waiting to make entrances, they would whisper back and forth (she also did that with MP later on).

She was smiling a lot and looked very happy. When LK's kid first came out, JA leaned down and gave him a cute little hug, and she kept smiling at him throughout the night (actually, they all did).

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